“If you have to be at a funeral, you would rather be in the casket than doing the eulogy.” When comedian Jerry Seinfeld delivered that punchline during a Broadway show in 1998, he was appealing to a wide audience.
The fear of public speaking – known as glossophobia – is among the world’s top phobias. As many as 73% of Americans suffer from a fear of public speaking, often ahead of other common phobias such as heights, spiders and clowns.
With lockdown restrictions easing in many places and a possible end in sight to seemingly endless virtual meetings, you might be starting to get the public speaking jitters again. CNN spoke to four public speaking experts for advice on how to beat post-lockdown stage fright.
“Write your speech – this may seem like an obvious one, but in the age of Zoom we have become more accustomed to winging it,” explains Lawrence Bernstein, speechwriter and director of Great Speech Writing, a UK-based speech writing and coaching company.
Photos: The most memorable commencement speeches of all time
What makes a commencement speech great? Wit, wisdom and a joke or two are just some of the ingredients required to keep the attention of graduates — and hopefully inspire them for life. Scroll through to discover more about the most memorable speeches of all time.
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Photos: The most memorable commencement speeches of all time
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Actor Denzel Washington, University of Pennsylvania, 2011 — “The world needs a lot — and we need it from you, the young people. So get out there. Give it everything you’ve got — whether it’s your time, your talent, your prayers, or your treasure. Because remember this: You’ll never see a U-haul behind a hearse.”
Photos: The most memorable commencement speeches of all time
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Talk show host and television producer Oprah Winfrey, Harvard University, 2013 — “Failure is just life trying to move us in another direction.”
Photos: The most memorable commencement speeches of all time
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Actor Robert De Niro, Tisch School of the Arts, New York University, 2015 — “When it comes to the arts, passion should always trump common sense. You aren’t just following dreams, you’re reaching for your destiny.”
Photos: The most memorable commencement speeches of all time
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Actor and writer Mindy Kaling, Dartmouth College, 2018 — “If you have a checklist, good for you. Structured ambition can sometimes be motivating. But also, feel free to let it go. Yes, my culminating advice from my speech is a song from the Disney animated movie ‘Frozen.'”
Photos: The most memorable commencement speeches of all time
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Former First Lady Michelle Obama, YouTube’s Dear Class of 2020 — “Deep and loving connections with others, honest work that leads to lasting contributions to your community. The vibrancy that comes from a diversity of ideas and perspectives, the chance to leave this world a little better than you found it. Don’t deprive yourselves of all that. There is no substitute for it.”
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Artist Makoto Fujimura, Belhaven University, 2011 — “The arts are not a peripheral luxury for the elite few, but a central necessity, how a civilization is to be defined, and how our humanity is to be restored.”
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Technology businessman Michael Dell, University of Texas at Austin, 2003 — “Recognize that there will be failures, and acknowledge that there will be obstacles. But you will learn from your mistakes and the mistakes of others, for there is very little learning in success.”
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Author George Saunders, Syracuse University, 2013 — “What I regret most in my life are failures of kindness. Those moments when another human being was there, in front of me, suffering, and I responded … sensibly. Reservedly. Mildly.”
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Actor and producer Kerry Washington, George Washington University, 2013 — “When you leave here today and commence the next stage of your life, you can follow someone else’s script, try to make choices that will make other people happy, avoid discomfort, do what is expected and copy the status quo or you can look at all that you have accomplished today and use it as fuel to venture forth and write your own story. If you do, amazing things will take shape.”
Photos: The most memorable commencement speeches of all time
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Apple co-founder Steve Jobs, Stanford University, 2005 — “Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.”
Photos: The most memorable commencement speeches of all time
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US soccer player Abby Wambach, Barnard College, 2018 — “Joy. Success. Power. These are not pies where a bigger slice for her means a smaller slice for you. These are infinite. In any revolution, the way to make something true starts with believing it is. Let’s claim infinite joy, success, and power — together.”
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Author Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, Wellesley College, 2015 — “Do not twist yourself into shapes to please. Don’t do it. If someone likes that version of you, that version of you that is false and holds back, then they actually just like that twisted shape, and not you.”
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Former US President Barack Obama, Howard University, 2016 — “Change requires more than just speaking out — it requires listening, as well. In particular, it requires listening to those with whom you disagree, and being prepared to compromise.”
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Journalist and activist Gloria Steinem, Tufts University, 1987 — “Whatever you want to do, do it now. For life is time, and time is all there is.”
Photos: The most memorable commencement speeches of all time
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Actor Chadwick Boseman, Howard University, 2018 — “When I dared to challenge the system that would relegate us to victims and stereotypes with no clear historical backgrounds, no hopes or talents, when I questioned that method of portrayal, a different path opened up for me, the path to my destiny.”
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Poet and playwright Seamus Heaney (left), University of Pennsylvania, 2000 — “Remember that the anchor of your being lies in human affection and human responsibility, but remember also to keep swimming up into the air of envisaged possibilities; and to keep on finding new answers to the question that (Benjamin) Franklin said was the noblest in the world, the question which he himself framed and which asks, ‘What good may I do in the world?'”
“There is this bizarre sense that if you were talking on Zoom, somehow it didn’t quite matter as much,” he adds. “There is the get-out clause of pressing escape, in the event of panic, (and) just being able to disappear.”
Bernstein suggests identifying one point you want people to remember from the speech and focusing on that goal with every line you write. “If you don’t know what the ultimate point of your speech is, I think it will fail,” he says.
With so much time spent indoors over the last year, many people are more inclined than ever to introspection. To appeal to an audience’s ego, you have to make them feel like you’re talking to them directly – and the way to do that is to be empathetic.
“Michelle Obama is massively underrated,” Bernstein says, adding that what makes her a great speaker is the relevance of her speeches, her clarity, and ultimately her empathy.
That’s the key combination, he says. “You can be relevant and clear – that’s all very well and good, but Alexa is relevant and clear,” Bernstein tells CNN. “Alexa will give me a very relevant answer that is clear to my needs but lacks empathy. Only a human can do all three together.”
After a year and a half online, attention spans have been sapped, explains speech coach and learning consultant Alan Barker.
“One of the key things that will have changed in the audience is (the) level of patience,” says Barker. “You can create something really dynamic and interesting in five or six minutes. Once you’ve done that, going back to 45 minutes seems kind of ridiculous.”
Keeping in mind that the maximum length of a TED talk is 18 minutes, distill your speech down to only the crucial points. This will mean a shorter speech and one that is focused and clear.
Barker says he uses the acronym “P.R.A.I.S.E.” as a technique to bring material to life. “‘P’ stands for proverb,” he says; if you can express your message using a common saying, it will be more memorable.
Next, ‘R’ for resonate. Barker says it’s important to use concrete examples that demonstrate your idea.
“‘A’ is for attention-grabbers,” he says. He suggests using language devices such as the rule of three, rhythmic devices and rhetorical questions.
’I’ stands for influence. “How can you use your reputation, your credibility?” asks Barker.
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Steve Jobs gave the most watched commencement speech of all time
“‘S’ is for stories,” he says. He advises using narrative, as “stories have a shape that’s inherently satisfying and are an easy way to engage your audience.”
And finally, ‘E’ for emotion. Barker says in order to elevate your speech, you have to present your audience with something they can engage with emotionally.
When learning to speak in public we are usually taught to project our voices. Consultant speech and language therapist Sharon Adjei-Nicol thinks that long periods of digital communication may have left us with the opposite problem.
Adjei-Nicol says we might need to make a conscious effort to avoid shouting. Remember that live audiences don’t have the option to reduce your volume.
“Online communication tends to lead to people talking quite loudly or shouting,” she says. “There is an adjustment that needs to be made as we resume ‘3D’ communication about what is a normal volume.”
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Hear the words of Stephen Hawking that are traveling through space
During this virtual age of the pandemic, we’ve only seen heads and shoulders – so capitalize on being out from behind your desk; gesture, move around, and make the most of the space you have.
“Make use of the environment,” says Adjei-Nicol. “It could be about how the room is set up, it could be about where you stand to speak, how much you move around, use of props.”
Body language offers essential non-verbal cues that greatly enhance our ability to communicate. “Stand up, walk about a little and use natural body gestures such as an open palm to compliment what you are saying,” she suggests.
Physical comedian Luke Rollason thinks that great speakers aren’t too polished. “People like [UK prime minister] Boris Johnson so much because there’s so much mess there,” he says.
Rollason feels that Hillary Clinton’s concession speech after the 2016 US presidential election is a good example of one that inspired support through compassion.
“Maybe it’s just that we feel sorry for them,” says Rollason. “Whatever it is, I think it’s undeniable: your vulnerability is so important.”
“The main piece of advice I give someone is just breathe and relax your face,” says Rollason. He says once you relax your face, you’re then able to talk to your audience on the terms of what’s happening in the room.
According to Rollason, your relationship with your audience is the most important factor as it influences whether your speech achieves what you intended.
“Most of my material is absolute rubbish,” he says, “which means I really have to survive on a relationship with an audience.”
It’s normal to be terrified of public speaking. Remember that your audience understands the horror that is stage fright, and hopefully they will empathize with you.
“You’re essentially a sacrificial lamb because they don’t want to be where you are,” says Rollason, and whether it’s a best man speech or an office presentation, “everyone’s pretty happy it’s you and not them.”